From the Desk of The Coochie Coach

A Letter to My Father in the Ancestral Realm: 28 Junes Later

Author

Nikki Brown
June 03, 2025

Dear Community,

This month holds so much wisdom and wonder.

🎵 It’s Black Music Month, and our bones remember every note.
🖤 It’s Juneteenth, and our souls echo with the ongoing story of liberation.
💋 It’s National Sex Day (June 9th), reminding us of the sacredness of intimacy and creation.
👔 It’s Father’s Day, which can stir both joy and grief.
🔥 And on June 3rd, it marks the 28th anniversary of my father’s passing—a fire that didn’t just take his body, but lit an entire lifetime of questions I never got to ask.

This is an open letter. A prayer. A song. A reckoning. From a daughter to her daddy. From the living to the ancestral.

An Open Letter to My Father in the Ancestral Realm

28 Junes Later: A Daughter’s Letter to the Man She Lost Before She Knew How to Love Him

Dear Daddy,

It’s been twenty-eight Junes since you left this Earth. Twenty-eight years since I heard your voice or held your gaze. But truthfully, even when you were here… we weren’t really together. We were on different timelines. And when you passed, we weren’t speaking.

That silence still haunts me.

We left so much unspoken—questions unanswered, emotions unexplored. And now, with all this space and spirit between us, I write you this letter. Not to rewind the past, but to make peace with it.

Daddy, I wanted you to be my hero. But I got your humanity instead. And now I see… you were fighting fires long before the one that took you.

You were burning inside, and I didn’t know how to reach you.

But I feel you now—in rhythm, in memory, in moonlight.

This June, the music of my life plays in your key. This grief is part lullaby, part love song.

So here’s what I’ve carried all these years, and what I’m finally ready to lay down at your feet:

🌬️ I forgive you—for not being the father I wanted.
👁️ I see you—as a man, as a Black man, navigating wounds the world never made room for.
🏆 I honor you—for the parts of you that live in me. Even the ones I had to alchemize.
💓 And I love you—not because you were perfect, but because you were mine.

Your absence left a scar. But your presence, brief as it was, left seeds.

I became a mother. A coach. A doula of life and legacies. And every time I help someone heal, I am healing us, too.

This letter is an offering. A bridge. If your spirit is near, send me a breeze. A song. A sign. Let me know you’re listening.

Until then, I’ll keep your name in my prayers and your memory in my bones.

With the love I never got to give you,
Nikki Brown The Coochie Coach | Life Doula | Legacy Alchemist

WHAT’S NEW IN COOCHIEVILLE?

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REFLECTIONS FOR THE READER

If you’ve lost a parent, or never got to say the things that mattered— You are not alone. Write the letter. Say the name. Feel it all.

This is a sacred month. May your grief be holy. May your healing be whole. May your heart be held.

Missed a previous issue? Catch up anytime! Click below to read past newsletters:

Legacy, Labor, and the Lineage That Made Me
The Mother’s Day Weekend: A Burst of Life, Culture, and Self Care

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Thank you for being part of our journey—stay inspired, stay curious, and we’ll see you next month with more to empower and uplift!